That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
