Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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