Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
