I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
