It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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