member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
