love makes seman taste better
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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