so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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