He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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