Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
