I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
