am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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