is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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