I CAN MOONWALK!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
