Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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