You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
