He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
