So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
