sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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