I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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