She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My dick has a subreddit
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
