After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
