so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
