we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
