I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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