Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
