You can't motorboat a personality
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Drunk is a universal language darling
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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