Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
