It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
