I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
