Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
