I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
