I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
