He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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