I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
