I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
