She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
