So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
