He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
