He asked me if I "almost moaned"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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