So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
