do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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