So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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