Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
