no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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