i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
