guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
