I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
