He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I got chris browned last night
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
