she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
