32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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