I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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