I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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